You were startled out of a daydream when your mother loudly announced that an extremely wealthy gentleman was taking residence in an estate not too far away. All the ladies within fifty miles went nearly mad over his arrival, as eligible men were scarce in your area. Soon enough, you met this man of interest at a picnic lunch, and he'd already been informed that every single girl in the county wanted to marry him. This was a bit unsettling for him. Not because he didn't enjoy the attention, or had any objections to matrimony; there were just too many choices! He befriended you at once and requested your help in selecting his bride. You were happy to oblige, thinking it would be an amusing way to pass the time as well as a chance to see how well he'd really take your advice.
Whenever you'd be in the same company, the gentleman would pay his complements to each of the ladies in turn; dancing with one, sharing favorite musical pieces with another, and at the end of his advances, he would come to you and ask your opinion of each of the young ladies there. You gave your pure and honest opinions of everyone. You praised where praise was due and criticized their unforgivable failings, though never too harshly. The gentleman kept your comments in mind, and you both shared more than a few secret jokes over some stuffy fortune hunting ladies. Everything was going "jolly well," until you fell for him yourself. (Oops!)
Suddenly, you found fault with all the other girls, and began telling the man how none of them would really do. One was too proud, another too plain, a few were disgracefully flighty, and yet another had no shred of elegance about her person. If the gentleman argued in their favor, you'd find some miniscule fault based on hearsay to judge them by. Your gentleman was not pleased, and since he was a man, he had no idea why you had become so picky. (Someone turn his light bulb on, please.)
At a picnic luncheon he shocked you by claiming he had finally decided on the woman he was going to marry; a Miss ___ of ___. You were outraged! Why, the girl was so stupid and dull! Besides, her nose was shaped funny. The two of you argued for some time until the man was so furious that he left ere the luncheon was over. The next word you heard of him, he had left the country and moved back to... wherever the heck in England the dashing ones come from. Now, you were heartbroken. (Who wouldn't be?)
Months went by, and not a word was sent from or about your gentleman love. You stopped eating full meals. The pink left your cheeks, and all your friends thought your new tendency to mope was odd. A few were suspicious of your melancholy attack coinciding with the gentleman's hasty disappearance. But if they thought you'd had anything to do with it, they held their tongues. (Not literally, because that would be gross.)
One day, (it was a very lovely, sunshiney day, because it's too cliche to make everything drizzly and rainy just because the main character's gone emo) you were sitting on your knees in your favorite country chapel, crying your heart out for being a silly twit and driving away the man you loved so dearly. Something moved behind you. When you turned around, the gentleman was standing there, wondering how to approach you. (Crying women even frighten the manliest men, you know.) Hastily, you wiped your eyes and tried to compose yourself, but it was already apparent that you had been weeping. (That's a better word than crying. Weeping. It sounds so nineteenth century. Praise me, dangit!) The gentleman sat by you, passed you a handkerchief, and waited for you to be perfectly calm again. When you had voiced your wonder at his sudden reappearance, he told you where he'd been the whole time. He was at his brother's, daughter's, school teacher's, widow's, cousin's house where he related the entire story in full to his brother's, daughter's... his friend. His friend had his light bulbs on, and he suggested the idea that maybe you were in love with the gentleman yourself. That put everything in a new light, (Haha, pun!) and the gentleman had to stay away long enough to decide what this meant for him. He declared that he'd been a fool, but a fool in love, and if you really did love him, he would forget about all the other girls and marry you, instead. You accepted his proposal and the two of you kissed at the altar. In a church! You should be ashamed!

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